relaxing

The last two weeks have been wonderfully dramatic.

I love music. I love creating it and hearing it and making it better. I love doing so many different things with it. Hearing different genres and seeing peoples' talents that are completely different from others' talents. I love to see people who are so passionate and we can share in that and make a great product. I got to work with musicians who really and truly wanted to make the best possible music they could and I believe we came out of the last two training weeks with a great sound and a lot of genres and styles of songs that are really going to make an interesting summer musically. And these kids worked really hard. I don't know what i would've done with a group that didnt really care. THey loved it and I have full confidence that they will love this summer.

I want to keep doing all of these music things. I want to train, to inspire, to perform, to Worship, and to listen. all of them. for the rest of my life. yes. the end.

Everything is changing. my whole life is about to change. i think. who knows though. I now have to transition from representing a school to representing myself. I don't need to worry about how the school looks but how i look. Not that i need to worry about what others think but in representing myself its almost like i have to sell myself and prove myself on a constant basis. I'm not sure what i think about that. I'm not sure how to act, dress, think, or to go on. I'm just really confused. I know, however, who I need to represent and the way that He wants me to be. I am also learning that God is always here and I only need to trust in Him to get through each day. Now that I have a very open future (haha) God is giving me things to do one at a time and filling out at least a immediate future. Not sure where He's leading me. Not sure where I'll be in a month, or a year, but I do know who holds that. And i'm learning that. I don't think its just something that I can say in a cliche way, but I can say it in a way that so far God has brought me through and I know He will continue to do so. What is life without hope?

Today was good.
Tomorrow I'll worry about that day.
but for today, i need to only think about today.
so, what does that mean?

i'm working. i'm trying. I'm praying. I'm trusting. learning.

o gosh.

twasout.

So, Winter One Acts tonight.  I can no longer laugh. Thats saying a lot.

Getting ready for Auditions for M&M. stress.

I got to have broccolli from Ruby Tuesday today. sigh..

I've gotten more chances to be creative this week, and I need that.  I'm more in balance.  Well...hopefully.

What does a normal sleep pattern look like? Should I get on a routine? hmm....I'm not sure.

I went tanning and i kinda love it. uhoh

Grace, Grace, God's Grace...Grace that is greater than all my sin.

wow :)

the weather looks nicer. The snow is melting!!!! Hallelujah!!!!!!!

i have a valentines tree :)

I'm confused.
God brings clarity.

The clarity is always something that I need to keep living.  But its not always what i want.  Its what I need, but not what I want.  I pray and pray and God reveals His answers or His plan and somehow its never enough.  Why is that?

God answered my prayers this week in one respect and I'm ecstatic.  Why do things stop me from keepin' the joy going!?  I need to realllly take a hold of my emotions and my thoughts and realize what things are the most important...and less important. I'm 22 not 343. haha.  I have time to live life...time...

I'm on God's time, not my own.

God works everything out in the right time.
..........even the smallest details. Isn't that amazing?

geesh.  I'm learning everything the hard way........